Big Picture Business Podcast
Big Picture Business Podcast
Is Adam Sandler REALLY A Jerk? (Happy Gilmore Behind The Scenes)
- Rory’s career in the movie industry
- Adam Sandler’s favorite drink (Product placement in movies)
- How to treat others once you become successful
- The things you learn about Hollywood when making movies
- Knowing if a celebrity lifestyle is right for you and much, much more!
Alright guys, we have a very special guest, in fact, a celebrity amongst us today. That is no other than our very own Rory Carruthers. Let me explain. This is really exciting you guys. Okay, so two weeks ago, Rory and I were just chit chatting before recording another episode and Rory drops this bomb on me. He's like, Oh, yeah, that's my through the time that I was on Happy Gilmore. What? Wait, what? Rory, do you mind telling us about the time you were a child star actor? And please tell us like, we hear a lot of things about Adam Sandler in general, right? Like, is he a nice guy to work with? Is he mean? Like, who the heck is Adam Sandler? Did you have a good experience? And tell us all about being on the set of Happy Gilmore because? I need to know.
Rory Carruthers:Okay, that's a lot to unpack there. Oh, where to begin? Okay, let's, let's go back to the beginning so. My mom always wanted me to, like experience different things when I was growing up. So she like, she decided, like, Oh, I'm gonna get Rory into playing soccer and basketball and volleyball. And oh, and we'll get him into like doing acting. And like, I just did so many things, because she just wanted me to do like, do these things to see what I liked and gravitated toward. And so she had signed me up with a talent agency. And for like, a year, I didn't get any calls. And then one day out of nowhere, I get this call from the talent agency. And they're like, we need you to actually come down today. Because we need you tomorrow. We need you to come down today. Because we need this director just to check and make sure that you're going to work but we think you're going to work for for this because we have an emergency situation going on in this movie. And so my grandparents loaded me up in the car. We drove into Vancouver, if you don't know him from Vancouver, Canada, and they took me to this house, and they were filming this movie and the casting people are there. And they're, you know, that meet them. And they're like, Oh, you know, come meet the director for this movie that we're working on. You know, tell me a little bit about the movie. But I'm like, I don't know. 13 at the time, so I'm like, okay, whatever. Like, I don't know, really what's going on. But we go in the house. I meet the director. He's nice. He's just kind of like, Oh, yeah, this is what we're doing. He just shows me around a little bit. He's like, I think you're going to be great.
Dominica Lumazar:What did they make you do for that?
Rory Carruthers:Literally nothing.
Dominica Lumazar:They just wanted to see what you look like.
Rory Carruthers:Yeah. Because, well, one, because it was so much a situation of an emergency. And two being that they just needed someone that looked like could do the part. Mm hmm.
Dominica Lumazar:So tell me a little bit more about the audition process and what that looked like, because you mentioned the grandma's house. But is there like more to that or what?
Rory Carruthers:Well, yeah, I mean, the house that I went to for, to meet the director at, like, that was the grandma's house. That was they were actually filming those scenes where Adam Sandler is out in the yard doing crazy. Crazy things. Just It was interesting, because you don't realize that at the time when you're just like walking up to this house and, and seeing it but then when I saw the movie, I was like, Oh, yeah. And you know, and so many movies these days, they don't actually use real houses. They they're always filmed on sets. So was nice to see that, that it was actually a real house. And I think that was just, you know, as part of, you know, the budgeting and stuff. But I thought it was really cool. Just, you know, not even looking back at it. You look at and go, Oh, yeah, like, it was just that was a cool experience. And that was it. So went back home, went to sleep, and woke up the next morning, went into the set. And I'd never, you know, really been on a set. This was the first time like I said that they had called me and I was like, Okay, I you know, I don't really know what this is all about. So I was feeling kind of lost, you know, it's like, What do I do? And, you know, luckily, there were some people there that, you know, they're like, Hey, this is what we're gonna be doing. You know, you're gonna go into wardrobe, we've got to get you. You dressed, you know, and they started explaining the situation. They're like, you know, a kid was hired to be in this movie called Happy Gilmore. He's very sick. And he's not able to continue doing the movie. He right now he's recording his lines for the movie. But you're gonna have to do all the acting for him because he has to actually go to the hospital. So I was like, Okay, let's let's do it. So they got me all dressed up and the same exact same stuff that he was wearing. And and then I saw him walking off as I was walking onto the set, and I was like on set and they're like, Okay, this is Adam Sandler, you know, introduced me to him. This is a guy named Carl Weathers who at the time I didn't know who he was. They're like, this is Julie. Time, you know, was Julie Bowen. I didn't know who she was. I mean, Carl was really well known, but at the time, I didn't know who he was. Adam was on his. This was like, kind of his breakout movie for for him. So, you know, I I didn't understand. Like, you know, I was just like, Oh, cool. We're doing a movie. Right. But yeah, I mean, that was that was like the the beginning of it. But yeah, I mean, what else are you wanting to know?
Dominica Lumazar:Go ahead and watch the clip. Because I'm sure everyone watching is gonna want to be like, wait a minute when? At what part of the movie? Because if you haven't seen Happy Gilmore, I don't think we can be friends. So for those of you that, haven't, you need to go watch it. It is by far one of the most ridiculous movies on the planet. But it's it's like feel good. Funny, right? And my husband, Chris, and I've watched it so many times. And we laugh hysterically at this specific scene every single time. And so the fact that I've known Rory for I mean, well over a decade now, it's hilarious to know that like, I was laughing at you, Rory this entire time. I mean, that with love. Okay, so
Rory Carruthers:before you start the clip, this this scene here, okay, so when I'm when I'm standing here, we shot this so many times?
Dominica Lumazar:First of all that's Rory at the
Rory Carruthers:Yeah, that's that's me standing there
Dominica Lumazar:mound so to speak. And for those of you not watching worry, what are you doing? Exactly here? Walk us through it
Rory Carruthers:Okay, basically, I'm just trying to hit a baseball. Yeah. Right. And they really, really wanted me to hit the baseball. Okay. And I played baseball, I was actually pretty decent at it. The problem was, is that machine that the shooting was not accurate at all, like literally, sometimes the ball would hit me. Sometimes they would hit the ground. Sometimes it would go flying above my head. There was no accuracy at all. So there was like, I mean, we tried probably a good 50 times to hit the ball and I could not hit it. And so eventually, they just gave up.
Dominica Lumazar:This is what they ended up with. Okay, so here's the whole scene. Oh my god. I don't know why that cracks me up so much. I'm so I feel like such a terrible friend now. You got to watch him like the context of everything. But yes, that's, that's you? That is that's me.
Rory Carruthers:Yeah. Now. Okay. So few things about about that. Okay, so one of the things you would ask is Adam Sandler nice. Yes, he was. He was very nice, actually. Very, very funny and very supportive. Now, one of the things that, you know, like, after the movie came out, like he must have been just testing material for Billy Madison at the time. And, and that makes a lot of sense. He was probably like thinking like, Oh, I'm gonna be doing this next thing. I didn't just like, test these things out. Oh, here's this kid. Like, can I make him laugh with these things? Right. Totally. Right. So I was getting like a little bit of a preview of that. But I also remember he was smoking a lot of cigars that guaranteed Yep, yeah. And drinking Pepsi. And I'm like, I swear looking back on this, that they must have had some endorsement. Pepsi because he like literally would hold up the can and be like, I really liked Pepsi.
Dominica Lumazar:Just milking in it. Yeah. So who else were you on set with?
Rory Carruthers:Carl Weathers like Carl use, he take the the eyeball. He kept trying to scare me with it, pull it out and like show it to me and like, like, and then like the fake hand, he'd be like, showing it to me and, and stuff. He was really funny. He's great, wonderful person. And then there was Julie Bowen. And and and if you don't know who she is, she's the mom on modern family. And at the time we did the movie, I mean, so you got to think like, she was probably in her maybe mid 20s at that point. And she was. So just like, incredibly amazing. I remember at some point, it was it was getting closer to the end of the day, I had to go to the bathroom. And she's like, Oh, you know, like, I'll walk you over to the, to the bathrooms and stuff. And she's just like talking to me, like one as a real person about life. And just being like, really kind about, you know, and being like, you know, like, what are you like, what are you wanting to accomplish in life and things like that, just like being really sweet and, and thinking back like someone who to have that much awareness of trying to think of like, what, like what the right words are here, but to have have that type of of depth at that age. I mean, that's amazing.
Dominica Lumazar:She was always meant to play a mom role. It sounds like so modern family was perfect for her.
Rory Carruthers:Yeah, absolutely. It also contrasts with another experience I had on the set, which wasn't great. So at lunch break. And this is this has been an experience that I've heard in the in the movie industry more than once. Okay, at the lunch break, what would end up happening is that I went and I was having lunch with Julie and a few other people, Adam, Adam and Carl were off getting ready for the next scene. And then Julie was done with her lunch. And she's like, Oh, you know, like, you can you can go get more some more food and I've got to go to my trailer and, and change clothes for my next scene. And and so I was like, Okay, yeah, I've seen a little bit. This was probably, you know, 30 minutes into lunch. And so I went up to the trailer, and you know, I mean, like, everyone had gotten their lunch at that time. And I was just like, Okay, get like another piece of chicken and, and a chocolate milk. I was really all about chocolate milk. And the reason is about chocolate milk. Because we never had chocolate milk, actually, in my house. Like my mom would, would never buy it. So the only time I got chocolate milk was one day a week at school, for one lunch, they would bring chocolate milk. So I was like, if I can get another chocolate milk, I'm getting another chocolate milk, right?
Dominica Lumazar:It's my time to shine. Yeah.
Rory Carruthers:So so they gave me another chocolate milk and another chicken breast and I went back and I was certainly and one of the people who was like, I don't know, if they were production assistant, or something came up to me and they were like, really mean. And and and they were just like, you know, you have to wait until every single other person here has eaten before you can go get more more food. Hmm, I'm like, the I was just told to go get food. And I'm pretty sure everyone has eating here. So I was like really thrown off. And that's one of the things about like, the celebrity culture that I noticed is that a lot of celebrities are actually actually like really nice themselves. But they're surrounded by people who think that they have to protect this image or the situation around them micromanaging. Right, yeah, managing it, and create this aura of like, there's a hierarchy. And then then, you know, then there's, you know, then you're not following falling in line, you're not doing things right type of thing. And that's one of those things where it was like, it was a little eye opening, but I didn't really understand it until later in life. And and it just makes me like think being successful doesn't mean you have to be right.
Dominica Lumazar:Are we allowed to say that? Yeah. How did this whole experience tie in to what you're doing now? Did it have like, a, a positive effect on what you're doing now? Do you think? Well, yeah,
Rory Carruthers:and you know, I mean, like, with, like Carl and Julie and Adam, like, I truly feel like they deserve all the success that they've had in their lives. Because going through an experience like that, especially at such a young age. It made me realize that, you know, people can can be successful can be kind, even if that's not necessarily how everything is portrayed in the media, right. Mm hmm. And it also it also showed that when you're put into those situations, you also need to understand how those situations work. And to be able to stand up for yourself but you know, when I I was like 13. I was like, oh, like what's going on? Right?
Dominica Lumazar:I just want chicken and chocolate milk.
Rory Carruthers:Yeah. And someone said that to me now like, that would not fly
Dominica Lumazar:sit down, I'm getting my chocolate milk.
Rory Carruthers:Right? As far as like a lesson it's like to think about is like when you're successful, you get to choose how you want to treat others. And everyone else can then fall in line and follow your example. And if you don't like how you've been treated by someone else, then don't be that person. When you're in that same position.
Dominica Lumazar:Yeah, absolutely. So just out of my own curiosity, and I'm sure other people are wondering, did you go on to do any other acting gigs or any other movies?
Rory Carruthers:Okay, so a little bit. All right, so So after that, they called me up to be a double for Jonathan Taylor Thomas, in a movie called man of the house. But I didn't actually get it because my hair wasn't long enough at the time.
Dominica Lumazar:rude. Did you get to meet him?
Rory Carruthers:No, so basically, like, you know, they, they brought me in audition, like, there was like a table full of people who all like, we all looked somewhat similar, but there were people who just had longer hair. And what they were looking for is someone like at the time, Jonathan Taylor, Thomas, His hair was like, you know, past his shoulders, and my hair, although at the time for for whatever reason, I had actually grown out my hair just a little bit. And it was, you know, probably like, three inches shorter than what they were looking for. They're like, you look about right for what we're looking for. But, you know, we even if we add extensions to this, it's just not going to look right. Yeah, so I missed out on that. But that would have been cool. Because that was actually a pretty big movie at the time. And then after that, they called me back for movie a William Shatner movie called The Prisoner of Zenda Inc. And I don't know, not not his best,
Dominica Lumazar:because I've never heard of it. I'm assuming So
Rory Carruthers:yeah, I mean, you know, like, it ended up it ended up being a movie that ended up going straight to TV or something. But it was just an extra thing. It was like this movie, I think it was about like a dog playing baseball or something, I don't know. But I was brought in to play to play baseball in the outfield just as an extra. So you know, spent the day doing that it was just basically standing there waiting for a ball to come my way. Never, never did was never hit toward me. I just stood there. And I had always planned on doing more. But at the end of that, at the end of that shoot, I got pulled aside with a group of other kids from that, and the casting company came up to me and they're like, Hey, you know, we've got this commercial. And we're looking for kids to do it. And they're like, you have to smoke in the commercial, though. At the time. They didn't really do like the fake cigarette type of stuff. You had to actually smoke real cigarettes. Now, my grandmother was dying from emphysema, and I was just like, there's no way I'm doing that. Like I've seen how bad that is. I'm I I can't even stand the smell of smoke. I'm, I can't do that. Yeah. And the thing you learn about Hollywood, quote, unquote, Hollywood, wherever Hollywood is the movie industry. Is that you say no to something. They stop calling you
Dominica Lumazar:put it on the shelf.
Rory Carruthers:Yeah. I mean, a great example of that is like James Van Der Beek from Dawson's Creek. He, he thought that, oh, like, you know, I had this hit show, I get to choose my options. He said no to like a couple of things that came his way. I mean, his career just tanked. No one called him anymore. He just because he said No a couple times that can happen. So it's it's a very, I guess, fickle industry, you could say totally.
Dominica Lumazar:Yeah, they're on the next best thing. Yeah, younger. Exactly.
Rory Carruthers:Yeah. So yeah, I mean, that was pretty much the end of it. And and we were getting ready to move to California anyway. And when I moved to California, it was just like, a whirlwind of like, high school and fast cars and women and you know,
Dominica Lumazar:being a young man Yeah, exactly. Yeah. What a cool experience. I just thought I thought our listeners will get a kick out of that. Just I I know my own reaction. And when I told Chris that you were in Happy Gilmore he same exact reaction like yeah, it's one of those things where I'm gonna have to like send our copy our DVD sent it to you to sign in and send it back.
Rory Carruthers:You know, people are probably gonna look up in the in the credits and be like, your name is not in there. And and I think you asked me about this.
Dominica Lumazar:Yeah. What's the story with that if you're, if you're a standing at the time, they will technically
Rory Carruthers:it's not a stand in So technically, I was a double so that's what they billed me as. Okay. And I don't know if this has changed in recent years, but at the time, anyone who was a double, they did not put in the credits. It reminds me of like in the music industry back before, like 1980 or so, mixing engineers, who are the ones who level everything and make everything sound great on an album. They weren't listed. Hmm, it wasn't, you know, even though they did all the work for the 50s and 60s, in the 70s, they were never listed. It wasn't until the 80s, when the mix engineer became like, almost like a superstar of, of the industry, because they were able to do phenomenal things making music sound great for the radio, did they recognize it's kind of like that, sometimes in the music industry, it's like, you know, they hire a bunch of extras, you know, 1000 extras to fill a stadium, it's like, all their names aren't in there. So it's, it's kind of like that, you have to like, think about it like that. The the person who was hired for the job, they were paid, their voice was used. I don't remember the guy's name, you know, so he is the one who got the credit, that it was just happened to be me that filled in and did the actual, on screen acting part of it.
Dominica Lumazar:Just the fact that you can say you did it. And it's, it's very obvious, it's you. There's that too. It's just, it's just fun. I just think it's fun to know that and try not to laugh as hard, I guess.
Rory Carruthers:But yeah, I mean, it was a great experience overall. And, and like I said, Adam Sandler, Carl Weathers, Julie Bowen, great people, they were the main people on the set.
Dominica Lumazar:So Roy, let me ask you this, if you had not met Adam Sandler, but you only met his like crew around him, and you have that like, uncomfortable? interaction when you were having lunch? Would you have thought that Adam Sandler was the same? Just be just based on like, his people that were around him? Or what what was your take on that?
Rory Carruthers:Well, potentially, yeah, I mean, like I said, some of the people there were nice, you know, they were kind of just like, showing me what to do. But I came out of left field when it was like, you know, like, I wasn't following some unwritten rule that they had, like, yeah, you know, it was like, and it was like, not something I would have known, right, because I'd never been on a set. But they kind of like, expect you to know, these, these rules. And, and it's like, one, stupid, first off, okay. Cuz that's like, treating people as lower class citizens. First off, which is not cool. And, and, I mean, it kind of brings up your point is that if the people that you hire and that are that you're surrounding yourself with, aren't treating people the way that you would want to treat them, then you've got an issue? Because that's a reflection of you.
Dominica Lumazar:100%, right. Absolutely. I've met plenty of celebrities, whatever level they're at. And maybe they'll have like a bouncer who's just like, really stern. Okay, the security that makes sense. But your actual people that are running around your assistans doing things like for you went when and if you ever get to that level, make sure they're kind.
Rory Carruthers:I've heard about like the so many stories where it's like, oh, like, yeah, I mean, sat down with this person on a plane. They were fantastic. But there assistant was was just an a hole, you know,
Dominica Lumazar:I had a really weird interaction. My sister and I went to go meet Jason Mraz before he did a show at the Fillmore in San Francisco. Mraz himself is amazing. Like Jason is incredible, really nice guy. And you could tell that he himself really wanted to connect with every single one of those people there he, I mean, the guy just like a huge heart. But the his team just sucked. They were just so rude. And it could be that kind of playing like devil's advocate, right? Like bad cop, good cop, Jason easily could have been like, move these people along. There's only so much time. But I could tell that he Jason himself really felt that he wasn't getting the connection he wanted to with his fans. I understand that. Like there's, you know, there's protocol and things during a meet and greet and you get 20 seconds and a picture like I understand how these things work. Because Rory and I have been in those positions, we get it. But it's still like the unorganization and like the high stress vibe that his team provided all of us was so lame. so lame, so much so that they actually sent an email out after the event because this event was for it was giving back to the homeless, like it was it was a huge fundraiser that Jason did for free, that we paid, you know, quite a bit of money to get in to this like private event where we would have like this private, intimate, sit down, hang with him and so it was all for a good cause and we were so happy to put our money there. But the point of them sending out this email at the end was like, how was your VIP interaction with Jason Mraz? I sent this very long email that was like, to be perfectly like, honest, this was a terrible experience. And here's why. And I just listed it out. And their response back to me was like, I'm sorry, there was no like, resolve, there was no like, Hey, how about next time, let's do this. And that. And so, back to just being in business and the customer service experience around things. Just make sure you know, what the heck your crew is doing? And the way that they're responding to things like, it's, yeah, that really sounds like a bad taste in my mouth. From that whole experience. It was really lame, it didn't have a reflection on Jason himself, which was good. He was able to, like, separate himself from the crew, just enough where it was like, I've got nothing to do with those people. This is their events that they've put on. I'm just here, you know,
Rory Carruthers:but But yeah, so that's, that's a different thing that wasn't like, that was that was like he was at an event that someone Yeah, that wasn't like his crew that he that is always around him. Correct. So that's it. That's the difference, right? Sometimes we're put into these situations where, you know, a crew is hired for us to do things. You know, especially like in the music industry, where you show up at an event and like half the people that are there not your crew. They're the venues. Yeah, yeah. And you don't have necessarily control over. Yeah, who those people are. Yeah. Right. And, and, and sometimes, you know, you just have to deal with it. And you do the best you can in those types of situations. Yeah. With the people that you have. Who are your crew, you get to choose those people. And you have to make sure that they are, how you want to be represented.
Dominica Lumazar:they align with your brand.
Rory Carruthers:Yeah, align with your brand. Exactly. Thanks.
Dominica Lumazar:I've got some good one liners occasionally.
Rory Carruthers:Okay, it also reminds me of so and we had this client.
Dominica Lumazar:Oh, no, that's never a good way to start something Oh, boy.
Rory Carruthers:Well, cuz I just remember how much weird situation it was. But so he was a fashion designer.
Dominica Lumazar:Oh, this guy. Oh, this guy.
Rory Carruthers:And so I heard all the stories, because he used to do all the clothes at the Oscars. And so he just be telling me like, Oh, this person, like, you know, like, I can't look this person in the eye. Or, you know, if I speak to this person, then I'm going to get fired. Like these types of things like some, some people get so much ego and so full of themselves, that they think that they're above everyone else, and you don't always know it. Like, you think like the persona that they put out into the world is Oh, like, yeah, they're, you know, we're just like you, blah, blah, blah. But it's not, not when you get behind the scenes and see, like that, because I've heard the stories. I've seen it just from the perspective of, you know, having clients that have worked with them. And it's just, it's nuts, like you would not believe some of the some of these, these stories. And unfortunately, I can't go into it, right. confidentiality agreements, but, but it's, it's nuts. And it just, you know, it just goes back to like, if you find yourself in a position, where you have been placed in in a higher level of authority or status, then think about how you may not have been in that at some point how you would have wanted to have been treated. And what are you going to do now, to treat people how you would have wanted to have been treated?
Dominica Lumazar:It makes me think of a couple things. One, when I'm out in public, which is rare these days, but when I'm out in public, I act as if I'm on camera all the time, because in essence we are there's dash cams people have cameras on their person all the time you go into a store is you're constantly being filmed right? Every
Rory Carruthers:every corner every traffic light. there's a there's a camera like yeah, very hard to get away from a camera these days.
Dominica Lumazar:Yeah, so they're everywhere. For those of you who didn't know you were being watched sorry to be the one to tell you but that's the deal. So there's there's that aspect, right where it's you only get you only get one opportunity to make a first impression. So I've been in situations doing shows actually, like in the Christian music industry, I I did quite a few shows back in the day. And I remember showing up to a one venue in particular where I was like heated I was pretty upset about a situation that I was dealing with at the time. Like my gear didn't show up. It was just kind of a nightmare. And I was getting I was getting upset. And I could tell that the crew that was there to help us that day. saw me and they were like, Ooh boy, like avoid her. She's not nice or they took it personal because these things People are there, and they're excited to see you. And these people were excited to see me like my band at the time. So I recognized that in the moment, took a deep breath. And I was like who, okay, let me just get recentered here and like, introduce myself properly and shake hands and smile and pictures and all that stuff. And just like change it. So there's some times you'll find where that opportunity will present itself and take it because those people could have gotten on Twitter. I think Twitter was the thing at the time, and said whatever thing they wanted to say about my band at the time, you know, but instead there's like me smiling, happy picture. So there's, there's a lot of different opportunities and situations you might find yourself in. But the but the camera thing, like I just I go about my life now just knowing that I'm being watched all the time. This does make me think, though, so Rory, and I were doing some consulting for a mutual client. And so we went out to Dallas spent a long weekend there, and just was working with the client. And on the way back home, we were leaving Dallas, and we had gone through security, and check bags and all that. And I hung back, I think, because I had some stupid fancy shoes on that I needed to take off, it took forever. And I put everything up to go through the metal detector. And in front of me, this very beautiful, sweet woman turns around and hands me one of the bins. I was like, do you need this, like thinks it's like, You're welcome. And I looked, and it was Selena Gomez. And she was really, really sweet. But I could tell she was exhausted. She didn't have any makeup on. She was totally exhausted. And the security details that she had around her. They were watching me like crazy. So we had very, like minimal words back and forth. But shoot, you know, how were you? Oh, good. How were you? Oh, safe flight, that kind of stuff. But I didn't even stop to ask are you Selena Gomez, because I knew, you know, can I get an autograph? There was none of that. It was just your human. I'm a human. We're flying. We're just like getting through this day. But of course, as soon as I got on the other side, I was like, Oh my God, It's Selena Gomez. And I think you watched her walk away, right? You're like, Oh,
Rory Carruthers:yeah, I was done. I was like, yeah, that's her
Dominica Lumazar:but the point of me sharing that is just how kind she was but also exhausted. And I, I knew what am I going to do stop and be like, "I love you" No, like, you know, you're tired. safe flight
Rory Carruthers:most people don't understand whether you own a business or whether you're, you know, musician or an actor, or whatever it is how much you actually put into what it is you're doing. When you work a job. I'm not saying you don't put a lot in. But you know, a lot of people who are working jobs, they show up, they clock in whether it's eight or nine in the morning, and they clock out at, you know, five. And I mean, it's a little different now that everyone's working from home, but that's pretty much the end of the day. They I mean, they can turn their phone off or whatever. And they don't have to think about it until they wake up the next morning. Yeah. But as as business owners, as entertainers, we're always, always thinking about how are we helping our clients? How are we getting our message out to the world? You know, I mean, when we were writing music, we were always thinking about, like, how can we improve this song? How can we improve this marketing strategy that we're doing? How can we get more views on this video? How can we improve this radio promotion thing that we're doing whatever it is, it was constant, and you know, and then you're on top of that, especially like when you're doing music, then you're, you're playing those same songs over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over? and over and over and over again.
Dominica Lumazar:And then over again.
Rory Carruthers:Yeah. Not only just in the studio, but then when you go and play and live for the next you know, 30 years or whatever. 50 if you're the Rolling Stones. So you like you think about that. And it's like, you don't always understand the toll you can say okay, well, yeah, like, got lots of money or whatever. But that's still a lot to take on for anybody. And, and to just constantly I like I know, being on on the road is like one of the hardest things. It's one of the reasons that like I didn't want to be on the road as a touring musician anymore is because it's very stressful. You Don't sleep well. You're constantly in beds that aren't yours. You don't feel like you ever are off. You're like you're always constantly on because you're always dealing with venues you're always dealing with with fans, you're always working on new music, you're dealing interacting with your band, there's just you know, you're doing interviews all day long. It just never stops. So like when you say like that she's tired. It's like yeah, she's tired. Of course she is. She's been going nonstop. She's probably just Did like 30 interviews that day, while you know, probably just finishing a performance getting on a flight to go to our next one, it's like it's nonstop.
Dominica Lumazar:It the the adrenal just depletion has to be so intense for celebrities at that level, you know, but yeah, it's having all that energy come at you all the time is really intense. So it's the energy you give out, right? You're like, I have so much I've got to get done. But then when you're receiving, I don't know if you experienced this worry. But when I was doing music on stage a lot, it was like all this. It was just bombardment of like, all these different energies. Some are excited and happy, some are angry, some are, it's just like, Whoa, so the shields that you have to actually put up to get stuff like that done and accomplished and done well, its a lot
Rory Carruthers:It's hard for me, because I'm very empathic. So I feel people's energies very strongly. So when I'm put, like, in a room full of people, it's very overwhelming for me. Yeah. And I start, like sensing everybody's energies, I just get very overwhelmed very easily. So in situations like that, like I realized that that type of lifestyle actually doesn't doesn't work for me.
Dominica Lumazar:Mm hmm.
Rory Carruthers:I have to have downtime, like every single day. Yeah. Away from the kids away from my wife away from you know, you're great. Like, it has to be like just have to, like block it all out. And have like me time if I don't, I get like way overwhelmed and not able to function.
Dominica Lumazar:At least you know that about yourself. I'm dealing with some serious mommy work burnout. Hard. In truly like we're at, at the end of my days. I was like watching movies. And even that was too much like, I just need to be super quiet and just like shut off all screens. And just like hang out with myself. Yeah, it's it can be a lot. A lot. Sometimes. This is so random.
Rory Carruthers:It is. This took a turn.
Dominica Lumazar:How did we get from Adam Sandler and Happy Gilmore and your acting career to taking time for oneself?
Rory Carruthers:Oh, my, my career, right?
Dominica Lumazar:Yes, yeah. A true celebrity. Like I said, everybody, thank you so much for taking the time with us today. Yes, this was a random topic. But I just it was so important to me that all of you know that Rory was on Happy Gilmore.
Rory Carruthers:Well, that was another great episode. And we've got another one coming up, where we are interviewing Matthew Conifir about learning to lead. And he shares his the three step decision making framework so that you can make the right decisions in your business. As a side note, Matthew has a great TED Talk. So I asked him to share his best tips for creating an engaging TED talk so that you can do the same. So make sure to check out that interview. And I know you're absolutely dying to leave us a review on Apple podcasts. So you have my permission. Go do it now. Do now. Seriously. Can you tell? This is my serious voice. All right. See you next